


Well Fuck

by OfMonstersAndMen



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chaos Ensues, Ed Is A Little Shit, M/M, annoying each other, edling isn't really a mjot thing until later tbh, greed and ed are just bros, i only have vague outlines in my mind for the plot, idk how many characters are gonna be in this, ling blames himself for ed getting fused with greed, so is greed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-09 13:46:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19477129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OfMonstersAndMen/pseuds/OfMonstersAndMen
Summary: Greed and Ed fuse instead of it being Greed and Ling.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This whole thing is just a product of me listening to music at like 3 in the morning and then crying.  
> -
> 
> I'm not going back to revise my writings either

‘You’re awfully quiet tonight shorty.’

‘Shut up.’

Greed sighed and continued to walk the sewer knowing that he wouldn’t get anything out of the blonde now. The brat was being more and more depressing by the day. It was annoying. Very annoying.

Why the hell did Father pair him up with someone so…..sullen?

Whatever not like the kid was going to stay around for long, Greed could already feel Ed slipping more and more until he would soon become a mindless screaming soul as well.

‘Do you ever shut up Greed, or are you always such a bitch?’

‘What do you mean short stack?’, Greed answered back pleased to have finally gotten a response out of him.

‘You know what I mean! Quit acting like I'm weak!’

Now at that Greed had to laugh, ‘I’m not acting, I'm just merely stating something that even you realize’

With that Ed went quiet again.

“Oh come on kid don’t pull this bullshit again-’, Greed was cut off as he felt a quick unfamiliar tugging sensation hit him. He felt weak as the side of his body hit the concrete wall. 

‘What the hell?’

He fought that feeling down and leaned against the wall for support. Greed heard Ed laughing from inside his mind. A very tired and hoarse laugh.

“What the fuck was that!”, Greed shouted, forgetting to not speak out loud, “What the fuck did you just do kid?!”

Ed just continued to roll around in the red hellish mindscape laughing, something he missed doing, to be honest.

‘You really are the same old dumbass Greed, can’t even stand up against something like that!’, Ed said barely able to catch his breath from laughing too hard.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean, and answer my question!”

‘It was nothing to fancy really just trying to take back control, and seeing what just happened here, it won’t be long until I do.’, Greed could feel Ed smirking as he sprawled out onto the red floor in his mind.

“Like hell, you will!”, Greed shouted, “This body belongs to me now shorty, so get comfy because I won’t be giving it up for a long time.”

‘I’d be surprised if you’d manage to hold control for more than a week, as I said before you’re just like the old Greed, but just more annoying.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't tell if this chapter is short or not also some hints of edling but eh

After a few minutes of going back and forth about stuff, Greed had learned that the kid’s name was Edward Elric and he worked for Wrath. But had also learned that his previous self owned a bar with a gang of chimeras. The bar was called “The Devil’ls Nest”. Unfortunately from what Ed had told him all the chimeras were killed. Yet Greed couldn’t find himself to care, he might have known them before but not now. No need to cry over someone you never knew. 

At least they were conversing now instead of it just being failed attempts to get Ed to talk.

‘Hey’

‘What?’

‘So what’s your deal with that other kid?’

‘You mean Ling?’

‘Yeah sure whatever his name is, he seemed really adamant that you were still alive’, Greed chuckled, ‘Even went as far to try and fight me, nothing’s going on between you guys is there?’

Greed could feel Ed make a noise that sounded like a mix between a squawk and a shriek.

‘Me and Ling!?’, Ed started to laugh nervously, ’Nothing is going on between us you dumbass!’ 

‘Uh-huh’

‘There is nothing going on between us!’

‘Okay okay sheesh no need to get pissy’

‘I’m not!’

Greed looked around the sewers, it seemed like they were walking for hours.

‘Hey, you have any idea where we're at-’

He was cut off when he heard something approaching them. Greed felt his shield form around his arm on instinct. 

“Who’s there?!’, Greed felt on edge. What if it was Wrath again?

The footsteps got louder as they got closer.

And then out of the shadows stepped a small man in a cloak. His skin was covered in weird spots and he appeared to bald. He looked nervous and scared.

‘That can’t be….I thought they were all killed….’

‘The hell is that supposed to mean shorty?!’

‘That man there, his name is Bido…..he was apart of your gang before you were turned back into a philosopher stone’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe bido has appeared


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spicy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is kinda longer than the previous chapters so im kinda proud of that

After a couple of moments of shock and quietness, the bald man called Bido spoke.

“Greed...is that you?”, the man spoke nervously.

“Who the hell is asking?” , Greed felt more defensive as he readied his arm. To be honest, something did feel familiar about this….something happy.

The man smiled, “It’s Bido! Don’t you remember me? , the guy, who now had a name to him, stepped forward a couple of steps towards Greed. Greed, in turn, swiped his arm at Bido, barely missing his face.

Bido had stumbled back in surprise before regaining his posture looked up at him with a surprised look on his face, “G-Greed what was that for?” 

“Listen Bido or whatever your name is, I frankly don’t give a crap to remember you.”, as Greed said this he retracted his shield knowing that this guy wasn’t really much of a threat. He turned now and started to walk away while trying to ignore that familiar feeling again.

“But you have to remember who I am! Don’t you remember me or the others!? We all worked at the bar! Your bar!”

“Like I said before I just don’t give a crap on who you are or whatever I did before.” , Greed called over his shoulder.

‘He’s right you know.’ , Ed chimed in after being silent, ‘About the whole bar thing.’

‘I don’t care.’

Greed could just feel the shit-eating grin on Ed’s face.

‘Oh but I think you do, remember Greed I can see what you see and think. You can feel those memories from your previous self, can’t you?’

‘Shut up.’

‘Why? Why do you choose to run? Wait now I get it. It’s what you’re used to. Used to running just like how you did back at the Devil’s Nest. That’s it isn’t it?’

Greed was getting more and more increasingly angry. He wasn’t running. He never runs. Greed heard his name being called and then a tug on his coat. It was this that set him off and he proceeded to grab whoever it was by their collar, he assumed Bido and smashed his back against the wall. He readied his shield on his arm and held it up to Bido’s face. Greed heard Edward make a noise of surprise.

“Listen here you little piece of shit, I'm going to make you a deal, leave me the hell alone and you get to live or keep bothering me and I swear I'll rip your fucking head off.” 

“But Greed you have to remember who I and the others are!” , Bido struggled to say as he attempted to get out of his grip. “Please don’t you remember Roa or Martel?! Or even Dolcetto?!” 

“I thought I told you that I don’t care!”, in anger Greed had begun to start trying to stab Bido with his hand. But he felt something stop him, an invisible force. He cursed inwardly. It was that damn brat again. 

‘Greed stop it!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry bout not updatin for in a week like i said it's hard coming up with words lmao

**Author's Note:**

> We'll see if I ever update this after the first chapter. If I don't come back in like a week or two bully me in the comments to update it please (bully me nicely im just a litle creacher)


End file.
